The Shadows of his Mind
by Brittney Winry Rockbell
Summary: Darkness, pain, guilt, anger, and anguish. All of these feelings practically one in the same, but yet, so different. All of these things, able to tear a person apart from the inside. What is happening to Ed? What shadows truly inhabit his mind? After all of this, is he going to be okay?
1. Chapter 1: The incident

**The Shadows of his Mind**

**Chapter 1: The incident**

_Point of view: Edward Elric: The Fullmetal Alchemist_

Uggh, today has been so long, is it ever going to end? From the look on Colonel's face, I'm gonna be working for a while. Uggh.

_"Hey Fullmetal! Wipe that pitiful look off of your face and get back to work!"_ The Colonel said.

Maybe, you should get off your ass for once, and go do what I do every day! See how you feel after that!

_"Last time I checked Fullmetal, you were the one who signed on for this, remember?"_ The Colonel said with a smug look on his face.

"Bite me!" I screamed. Not taking another second of his smug remarks, I stormed out the door, and into the hallway. "Hmm, no one here, I wonder where Al is." I continued to search for my younger brother in the dark shadow filled corridor. Where could he be!? I continued to storm down the silent corridor, through the shadows. Still, no one, no Al, not one person.

Meanwhile, the Colonel sat in his chair, thinking about what he said to his young vivacious subordinate. _"I bet he is royally pissed, he's going to do something reckless, I know it."_ The Colonel stood from his chair to find the boy.

"Aww, come on Al, where'd you wander off to this time?" Uggh. As I sat down, my back slid down the wall. "Where are you?" I laid my face in my white-gloved hands, my golden braid hung over my right shoulder. Utter silence. I sat deep in my thoughts, hoping Al was alright. I returned to my feet, a pained look on my face, I took to the entrance of Central Command. The smiling secretary looked at me, her brunette hair a light chestnut, her eyes match her hair. _"Have a nice night, Mr. Elric!"_ "Yup, thanks." I ran out the door, one thing in my mind, find Al. Or, at least, someone besides the Colonel. However, I was unaware of what time it really was.

_Point of view: Roy Mustang (the colonel): The Flame Alchemist_

"Where did he go?, where is he?" "I don't see him anywhere!" "It's 2:30am!, it's not safe for him to be running around, alone. I walked as fast as I could through the corridor. Sweat trickled down my furrowed brow. My jet black hair was soaked in sweat. My onyx eyes wide with determination. I looked in every room, every nook and cranny. To no prevail. I rushed toward the entrance of the command center. I slammed my hands on the secretary's desk, a look of anger filled my face. "Where is he!?" The secretary looked confused, _"Who?"_, she asked dumbfounded. "Edward!" I yelled angrily. _"Umm, Mr. Elric just left, a few moments ago."_ "Where did he go!?" _"Umm, he didn't say!"_ "Dammit!" I stormed out the door as fast as I could.

_Point of view: Edward Elric: The Fullmetal Alchemist_

"Al, Al!" Are you there, Al!" "Dammit!, where are you!?" I continued to walk down the street, silence, no Al, no one, Alone. I got a sudden chill and began to frantically run. "Al!, Al!" It was raining, the night air was crisp, it was freezing. The more I ran, the more scared I got. I ran so fast that a small puddle made me slip, I fell flat on my face, soaked. "Eww, mud, dammit Al!, When I find you, I'm gonna kick your ass!" I slowly lifted my self from the soaked ground, mud was in my golden hair and on my face, my clothes were covered in it. "Aww, my new shoes! That's it Al! I really am kicking your ass when I find you!" I began to wipe the mud from my lips, Yuck. I continued to walk, as the rain continued to fall. Rustle Rustle Rustle "What was that!?" I frantically searched my surroundings, no one. "Oh well, I guess it was just the wind." I walked a bit further staying aware of my surroundings.

_Point of view: Colonel Mustang_

"Fullmetal! Fullme.. I mean Edward! Edward, where are you!?" _"Colonel! Colonel! Is that you colonel?"_ He asked in a frightened tone. "Edward! Where are you!?"_ "In the alley! Come here, please!"_ "Edward! What's wrong!?" I neared the alleyway, a dark figure sat there. "Edward! There you are!" The figure sat there silently. "Fullmetal?" The figure stood up, and walked towards me._ "Come closer, Colonel! I can't see you!"_ "I'm coming, Fullmetal." The dark figure then grabbed me, it was choking me, that was not Ed. "No, what if he was, after, Ed!" I soon fell unconscious, and limp.

_Point of view: Edward Elric: The Fullmetal Alchemist_

"Was that the Colonel, I have to investigate!"

I walked in the direction of the Colonel's voice. A dark alleyway lay in front of me. I couldn't, I wasn't that dumb! I've seen the movies, that's the number one place for a kidnapper, or a murderer to hide! Haha! I'm not that stupid! I walked away from the alley, turned my back, big mistake. I continued to walk forward, paying no attention to my surroundings. That was just stupid. _Cackle Cackle_

"What was that!? That definitely wasn't the wind!" I scanned the area, fear entered my mind, someone was there, besides me. I alerted myself to continue to look, no one.

"Dammit! Where are you...you bastard! Show yourself!" I continued to swiftly walk forward, looking around frantically, I was terrified. My efforts were pointless, though, what was going to happen...was going to happen. No ands, ifs, or buts about it. All civilization faded away as I walked further, towards my hotel room. I was walking for about 30 minutes, when I felt a presence near, a scary presence. I turned around, no one there. I continued to walk, I felt a warm breath on my neck, my golden eyes shined with fear. My cheeks were wind burnt, my hair was a bit out-of-place, but still remained in my tight braid. I turned around, big mistake. Some man in black grabbed me, I frantically fought to break free, to no prevail. The man had a strong grip, I screamed for help, tears poured from my eyes.

"Please, don't hurt me, sir!" The man looked at me with no mercy or emotion, he looked annoyed in fact.

_"Shut up, boy. Your hopeless screams are rather annoying, and bothersome."_ With those words, a gloved hand clamped over my mouth, I panicked. Trying to break free, I bit him. Big mistake. With no remorse, he stuck me in the head with some blunt object. It really hurt. I collapsed to the ground, groaning in pain, moaning for help. The man jerked me up by my braid forcefully, it really hurt. He pulled something out of his pocket.

"What was that!? A handkerchief? A roll of duct tape, rope, What the hell!?"He dropped me on the ground so he could detach a piece of duct tape from the roll.

"Now's my chance! I can run!" I got up quickly, and started running frantically. I was crying, I was screaming.

"Help! Somebody help me! There's a man trying to kidnap me!" Apparently, no one cared, or couldn't hear a 15 year old's frantic cries.

"Even though I was a bit away from the heart of the city, anyone could hear me scream!" Before I knew it, the man tackled me, I kicked and screamed, but he simply used his knee to restrain my movement. He pulled the roll of silver tape from his trench coat pocket, then ripped a piece off. Just enough to constrict my gaping mouth from screaming anymore. He held my opened mouth closed to put the tape on, success. There I was, laying on the ground, a silver piece of tape restricting my screams. The man stared down at me triumphantly.

_"Haha, I finally shut you up, boy! Mwuhahaha!"_ Muffled screams erupted from my taped closed mouth.

"MHELP MHE! SMOMEONE!MANYONE!MHELP!"

No luck. Tears streamed down my wind burnt cheeks as he bound my hands and feet. Then came the handkerchief, my blindfold. He tightly tied it around my golden, fearful eyes. I was helpless, scared, I couldn't save myself, couldn't even scream. All at once, I felt two cold fingers pinch my nose shut.

"I can't breathe..can't breathe..can't...breathe." My world faded as I fell into unconsciousness.

**Well, that's all for this chapter, hope you liked it, please review, like you would want to be reviewed, please. Also tell if you like it or not, I'm bound to add more details! Hope you like the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Man in Black

**Chapter 2: The Man in Black**

_Point of view: Edward Elric_

I woke up in a small enclosed room, roped to a chair.

"Haha! I can cut these ropes easily!" I smirked, as I thought to myself. I quickly transmuted my hand-blade, and began cutting at the rope. "What, why the hell isn't it cutting!? Dammit!" I yelled frantically cutting at it.

_"Hmm, I see you are awake, boy. Oh, and if you are trying to cut those ropes, with that can opener, it won't work. Those ropes have solid steel, entwined inside of them. You fool."_

"Shut... the hell...up!" I screamed angrily. My eyes shined brightly, and I fidgeted so much that the chair flipped over. There I lay, a crumpled up heap of rope, broken chair, blood, and me. I lay there motionless, wooden shards had stabbed into my arms, hands, and face. My auto-mail arm was scratched, a small puddle of blood on the floor. All I could think was, "Oww!"

_"Hahaha! You truly are a fool, Edward Elric!"_ He said cackling. His hair was a dark brown, cut short, practically black from what I could see in the shadows. His eyes were a dark chestnut, his lips curled into a psychopath's grin as he cackled at my foolishness. He wore a black men's dress coat, and dress pants, black suede shoes, and a black tie. He had on a white dress shirt, and he was probably about '6,2", maybe.

"Huh, how do you know my name you bastard!? Do you stalk me? Do you watch me take a shower, you sicko!?" I asked, my eyes burned like fire to match the pain I felt from my cuts. I slowly tried to drag myself across the shadow covered floor towards him. Failure. There I lay, unable to move, helpless, like a newborn infant.

_"How do you think, Edward? We have met before you know."_ He said in a mockingly confused tone. He walked over to me slowly, then kicked me in the stomach. Pain rushed through my body, and then to make matters worse. **STOMP** Pain rushed through my chest, my breath was raspy, my body weak, I couldn't move. All I could do was squeak, and try to breathe. All at once, I felt my body being lifted from the floor, soon I realized my golden braid was tightly clasped in his grasp.

"What...do..you...mean? I..don't...think...I have. Who... !?" I wheezed. My body still burned like fire. I felt dizzy, lightheaded, weak.

_" I am __**Karl Elric**__, your uncle."_ He said bluntly.

"What?! No, you...you're...you were supposed to be dead!" I said exasperated. I couldn't believe it. My mother's brother who had soooo many hostile feelings toward me. This can't be happening! "I'm dreaming, I just need to wake up, yeah, that's it, but why do I feel pain, why do I hurt? It's not a dream, it is real, he is alive!"

_"Are you alright, Edward? You're talking to yourself, is something wrong?"_ He said cheerfully.

"What do you mean? Of course there is, you died, I saw you, you fell of the cliff! You were choking me, and I pushed you off, then you fell over the edge! You can't be alive!" I said with incredulity. There my uncle was, holding me up by my hair, just kicked me in the stomach, and stomped my chest moments before. Although, how come he told me this, was he wanting to scare me?

_Point of view: Alphonse Elric_

If a suit of armor could get tired, I would be exhausted! Brother isn't anywhere to be found. I searched for him for three hours or more! I figured he'd come back to the hotel once he was done with his work. I guess I was wrong. It's extremely dark still, and it's about five in the 's an alley, I wonder if he's there. "Brother! Brother! Ed! Edward! Are you in here? It's dark and I can't..whoops! **CLASH!**

_"Al, is..is that you?"_ The voice was deep. Too deep to be Ed.

"Yes, is this the Colonel?"

_"It is, what are you doing here?"_

"I was actually looking for Ed, have you seen him? He hasn't came back to the hotel, and I'm worried." I said in a worried tone.

_"No, but..don't get upset about this. Someone actually attacked me, mimicking Ed's voice. I blacked out, but I woke up to someone screaming. I think it was Ed..uh..I mean Fullmetal. He sounded extremely frightened, I couldn't move fast enough. From the alley, I could see an arm, an __**automail**__ arm. The screaming stopped, the next thing I heard was the squealing of tires. Then, silence."_ He said solemnly. My mouth dropped, I wanted to cry, scream, faint. I really didn't know what to do!

"Do you know which way the car went!? Please! I need any information I can get!"

_"Umm, I believe the car went out of town."_ He said, a look of confusion on his face.

"Thank you! Please Colonel, would you please help me find Ed!? I need all of the help I can get!"

_"Did you even have to ask? Fullmetal is a dog of the military, he means just as much to me as he does to you. We__** will **__find him."_ He said bluntly.

"Thank you so much, Colonel! Let's go!" I helped the Colonel up, then he and I headed toward Central command.

_Point of view: Edward Elric_

"This...this can't be! It's impossible! No one could survive a fall like that!"

_"Except for a homunculus."_

"Excuse me? You...you're..you're not serious!" I said in a flabbergasted tone. My eyes shone brightly in the moonlight with disbelief. This bastard..this bastard that attempted to kill me when I was younger, is..a.._**homunculus**_. "I don't believe you, prove it!"

_"You want proof? Okay, I'll show you proof. Transmute your letter opener_- hand-sword. _Well hand-sword, don't correct me, and stab me in a vital area."_

"What!? No, if you're bluffing it will kill you! I promised myself, I won't kill another person. No matter who it is!" I said angrily.

_"Aww, come on, you won't know until you do it."_

"Dammit, I said NO!"

_"Well then, I guess I'll have to convince you now, won't I!?"_

Okay, so first of all, how could I transmute my hand-sword, I'm still tied up! Then, second, I'm not an idiot, I am pretty sure he's bluffing, so of course I wouldn't stab him! Alright, somehow I managed to get my binds off and block his attack before he even scratched me. "Really, is that the best you've got? I've seen girls that fight better than you do!"

_"You are about to pay for that smart comment, dear nephew."_

I thought that he was joking. Before I could block, thanks to my arrogance, he sliced my cheek with his sharp butcher knife. Blood dribbled onto the floor in droplets. Just the sight of it made me dizzy. Then, to my misfortune, ouch, right in the groin, oh shit. I hit the ground hard. My body was aching, my eyes watering, all I could do was stare in horror as he lifted his foot. **Lights out.**

_Point of view: Alphonse Elric_

The Colonel and I got to the command center, I was frantic! Ed had been missing for four and a half hours now, and I was worried sick. "Any luck, Colonel?"

_"Nothing. I've asked everyone, no one knows where he could be. The secretary did confirm though, that he did leave. So, it's a good possibility that the person I saw was __**Fullmetal**__. If that's the case, he was __**kidnapped**__."_

"No! It can't be! Who would?"

_"We have no idea, Al. However, we will keep looking for clues. As far as Fullmetal goes, he has plenty of enemies."_

"Okay, Colonel. We're going to start from scratch, go see if you can find anyone who saw the license plate on that car. Then, bring back the number." I said forcefully.

_"Hahaha, who made you the superior officer, Al?"_

"Since when, you're the reason Ed was kidnapped! Now, you want to make anymore smart comments, Colonel? If you are, then go ahead, but if you really care about my brother, you'll do as **I** say. Or, if you prefer being forced, I'll be happy to oblige. Now, go see if you can get me that license plate number, or I'll kick your sorry ass!"

_"Hahaha, very well, Al. Anyone who threatens me like that deserves the utmost respect. I will do whatever I can to see that Fullmetal is safe once again."_

"Good, I thought I was going to have to get violent, but I guess not." I said, pridefulness seething out of my armor.

_"Sir, I was already way ahead of you, turns out someone did see what happened that night. It is officially confirmed, Edward was kidnapped However, the woman who saw it got the license plate number. It's actually a pretty good picture."_ Hawkeye handed the picture to the colonel. Then, he studied it.

_"Hahaha, excellent work, Hawkeye. Looks like, we've got everything we need to catch this criminal. _The Colonel said, a smirk spread across his face.

**Well, that's all for this chapter, hope you liked it, please review, like you would want to be reviewed, please. Also tell if you like it or not, i'm bound to add more details! Hope you like the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Experiment

**Chapter 3: The Experiment**

_Point of view: Edward Elric_

I have just awaken again from my very sudden state of unconsciousness, due to some seriously brutal stomps to my face. My nose is bleeding, my head hurts, my forehead is bleeding, and metaphorically i'm seeing stars. I'm not in a chair this time, i'm strapped to a cold steel table which is tilted up to almost a vertical point, and I am completely naked except for my boxers. Not cool at all. I feel like i'm actually in a horror film, an extremely good looking teenage boy is kidnapped by some freak and is slowly tortured on some medical table, and at a complete loss of dignity because he's in his underwear, pathetic. My head is aching so badly that I can't think. What was that? I heard a noise. Has the serial killer come to sever the tragic victim?

_"Wakey wakey sleepyhead. Oh, I see you have already returned to reality."_

"You sick bastard, what do you want with me? And why am I in my underwear!?" I say with a disgusted look on my face.

_"Well, you're going to help me try out a new serum I created just recently, but first we're going to play a few little games."_

"What do you mean, what **sick** little games are you talking about?!"

_"They're not "sick little games". Anyways, hold on and you'll find out."_

I stare at him intently trying to get inside of his twisted psycho mind. What could he be planning? What games? He has a tool box that looks like his stash of instruments of torture. I struggle to break free, but instead almost break my courage. He has the toolbox on a table beside me, a creepy grin spread across his face. He opens the toolbox and pulls a wrench from inside, but why a wrench. Okay, why is he staring at me like he's ready to mutilate me with that wrench. He has my arm in his tight grip, my right arm. What the hell? Is he taking off my arm? "Oww, Shit! Stop taking off my arm. Let go!" I finally figured out twisted game number one, see how many times it takes Edward to scream out in pain from getting his arm removed to getting it reattached, until he passes out from the extreme excruciating pain. "Oww, owww! Stop.. stop it.. it hurts!" Tears begin to seep from my tightly closed eyelids, and when he sees i'm not passing out he gets bored. Next he reattaches my arm one painfully last time, then changes his game. He now has a butcher knife, and he keeps stabbing me every painful place he possibly can. Blood is dripping down my limp legs and from my toes, tiny little droplets of blood turn into large pools of crimson liquid. I'm getting dizzy from blood loss and my sicko uncle is obviously tired of torturing me in this way. Next, he gets a steel bat from what I can see, and begins whacking me at full force. Now, he decides to play batting practice with my head, not at full force though, like he's trying to refrain from killing me and just wants me to feel pain, extreme pain. "Are you tired yet, feeling satisfied you creep? If not just keep on whacking, yeah i'm in pain, but i'm not going to give into the likes of you." Then, without hesitating he whacks me with the bat as hard as he can on my head. My hair bow slingshots out of my hair, and my long blonde hair falls from its messy braid. My world is going black all with one single solid steel hit.

_Point of View: Karl Elric_

I'm so angry, it isn't fair, that brat took all of that torture and yet still had enough stamina to smart off at me. Huh, maybe i'm loosing my touch, maybe i'm just becoming an decrepit old man! "There he is just hanging there limply, blood gushing from his head and he still has that damned smug look on his face!" It doesn't satisfy my craving to hurt him in every way possible, even if I beat him as badly as possible there is just no satisfaction. What the hell is wrong with me, I got what I wanted, to torture that damned nephew of mine, and i'm still not satisfied, I feel empty. "Trisha and that bastard Von Hoenheim sure made one handsome child, though. Even beaten as badly as I have beat him, he still manages to look just as handsome. It makes me sick!" Is he seriously waking up? I guess so, well looks like I'd better greet him.

_"Nice try you sick bastard, but even that hit wasn't enough to keep me down long."_

"Why do you keep getting up?! You're just going to get injured even more if you keep fighting back!"

_"Hehehe, sounds like someone's starting to loose hope that he'll ever be able to keep me down. No matter how hard you try I won't give up! I'll keep regaining consciousness and I won't lose hope! Beat me as hard as you want, I'll never give up!"_

I'm going crazy, this brat is invincible! He won't stay down, he's not even scared!

_Point of View: Edward Elric_

Talk about crazy! This damn bastard is one serious lunatic! I don't know how much more I can take of this! "Hey listen, why don't you just stop while you're ahead. There's no point in putting in any extra effort if you don't have to." Dammit my head hurts! Where's Al to get me outta here!? What could this crazy freak be thinking? I bet his mind is something like Slicer's or maybe even Barry the Chopper. Creepy. He just picked up a syringe with some weird gray liquid in it and is heading towards me. "Hey you bastard, you'd better not stick me with that! What the hell is that crap anyways?"

_"Glad you asked, it's my own special experiment. Oh, and you're the test subject. Let's see if you can keep your humanity with this!"_

"Holy shit, what are you doing you crazy old man? That stuff could kill me!"

_"I am sure it will __**not**__ kill you."_

"Like i'd trust someone as crazy as you. Frankly, i'd like to keep my humanity, thanks."

_"Sorry, but that is absolutely impossible."_

"No, don't do it besides I hate needles! Don't take another step closer, no, no, NOOOO!"

_Point of View: Alphonse Elric_

We're on our way to find my big bro, but so far no luck. I'm really worried and fearful for his safety. We found the address and are seriously hoping he's there still. Please be okay, brother. "Are we there yet, Colonel?"

_"No, Al. Don't start acting like your brother always does by being a nuisance."_

"Well, i'm really worried! Why are we taking so long, brother may already be gone or worse **dead**."

_"Hahaha, I can assure you Al, Edward is perfectly fine and will be when we get there."_

_Point of View: Edward Elric_

My body aches and I can't move. Why the hell can't I move? Holy Shit! My..my.. ..sticking..out of my body! Phew, never mind, but my body is limp and my bones are broken! It's really dark, all I can see is darkness and evil. I hear footsteps.

_"My.. , look at you, you look awfully wonderful. Your hair is so pale and lifeless, your skin is a sickly white, your eyes are a deep brown, perfect. My experiment was a success.. a perfect abomination."_

"What are you talking about, it's too dark to see anything, am I blind?!"

_"Yes. However, it's only temporary. Hahaha, my nephew you are about to be the spawn of satin yourself, a demon nonetheless, but a demon who can't even control the thoughts he thinks or his own body. Your shadows will do your non-willful bidding_ _and you'll be known as a monster! Not the precious Fullmetal Alchemist: Edward Elric that is the very hero of the people! You'll be hated and spit on, and you'll kill millions with not even a flick of your finger! Congrats, nephew you get exactly the thing that only people dream of in their nightmares. Welcome to hell on earth!"_

"No..no, you're crazy this is just a dream and i'll wake up in a minute! I'd never kill anyone!" Where's Al to get me out of this crazy nightmare! Al, Al!

_Point of View: Alphonse Elric_

"Yes! That's the house, hurry, hurry up!" Almost there Ed, hang in there a bit longer. We're pulling in now you're about to be safe again. "Sorry, for not waiting for you, Colonel, but my brother needs me!"

_"No, hold on Al wait for me!"_

It's dark in this house, but I can somewhat see. Who's that strapped to that table? "Brother!" **CLANG CLANG CLANG CLUNK **"Brother! Is that you? Why is your hair so pale and why are your eyes dark brown?"

_"Stay away from me Al, I'm a monster. If you get too close I'll kill you."_

"Hahaha, what are you talking about brother, you wouldn't hurt a fly!" He looks like he's about to cry, but why.

_"I'm being serious! I'll kill you, and I won't be the one controlling my body!"_

"Did you not eat before you were kidnapped and you're grumpy now?"

_"Dammit, NO!"_

I don't believe it, but I think he's telling the truth. His eyes are so serious like he's scared to death, yet his body says nothing of the sort. "Where's the bastard that kidnapped you and who did this to you?! You're bleeding and you look really weak!" He's not speaking, but he's pointing into the shadows with his head lowered like all I have to do is walk in that direction and I'll find the **real monster**. It's really dark back here and I still can't see, wait is that a person?

_"Hello Alphonse." _

"Who are you?!"

**Well, that's all for this chapter, hope you liked it, please review, like you would want to be reviewed, please. Also tell if you like it or not, i'm bound to add more details! Hope you like the next chapter!**


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